Ramblings

First off let me apologize for the way this post will probably turn out. I have alot on my mind so I'm sure this post will be a little random and spacey.
I guess the first thing weighing on my mind lately is the baby and the fact we only have 2.5 weeks till he is here! I have been so calm up to this point about having another and then this week hit and I've started to panic. I think its finally hit me that I will have two! I have been worrying so much over how Kyler will react to the baby. I think he'll be ok with him while we are at the hospital it will be once we get home he might start to not like him so much. With the babies that have been born in our family he has tried to poke their eyes out and today as we visited with JJ's family it was good to see he finally wasn't trying to claw Ryan's(JJ's nephew) eyes out! I'm hoping he will be over that stage now! I'm scared to that Kyler will not like me once the baby is here also. He already is such a daddy's boy and I'm scared he will just not want anything to do with me or that he will be so mad at me for bringing another little baby into our lives that takes away some of his attention. I just don't know what to expect, and am getting really scared what might happen. It is funny how JJ will freak out one day about things and I'll be calm about it and the next day it will be the other way around! He said to me today how everything will be ok and that our mom's have went through it we have friends that have went through it and all their kids have turned out fine and all their kids love their mom! That made me feel a bit better, I just hope Kyler will understand that the baby isn't a bad thing and that Xander will just be another little part to our family that we get to love and have fun with. He is still really cute with my belly and will hug and kiss it, and I really hope that will just translate over once Xander is out.
Tonight I put together my baby bag to take to the hospital. I found it so funny how quickly the diaper bag filled up as I was packing it. I really haven't carried around a diaper bag for awhile we just have spare diapers and wipes in the car for Kyler if he needs to be changed when we are out and about. I probably packed alot more than I need for the little guy since we will be at the hospital but I just wanted to make sure and be prepared. I almost started to cry when I went to put diapers in the bag, and realized how tiny they are! They seem so tiny compared to Kyler's

I don't think this picture does is justice but it kinda compares the two. It will be nice to have a small little one for awhile. I just wish he would stay small forever and not grow as fast has his big brother has, even though I'm sure he will. I also put in the outfit to bring him home in. I fell in love with this little sleeper when I saw it and had to have it..I even bought it both newborn and 0-3 months sizes so that Xander will be able to wear it even if he comes out bigger than expected. I so can't wait to be able to put him in it and bring him home....

Speaking of home, we now know we will actually still be in our apartment until the end of the month. In house news we finally got an accepted offer and have start the loan process. We are getting it inspected on Monday, to make sure there isn't anything to wrong with it. As long as the inspection goes well and the loan goes through we will be in this house sometime in August!! JJ's calls me a pessimist because I am always saying what if about everything with it. Our loan officer told us today the only thing we would have to worry about is USDA running out of money and she said and they have lots of money so I think you'll be fine. This should have given me some comfort but it really didn't. I do know whatever is meant to happen will, and that something happens and we don't get it its a trial the Lord will put us through for a reason. It is very exciting to think we actually could be in a house in just a few weeks! I guess I just have been keeping my hope low so I won't be heart broken if it doesn't work out. Anyways here is the house! With the sale pending sign:) hopefully in a few weeks it will have a sold sign on it instead!!

It has 4 bedrooms and 1.75 baths, and the only part of it that's not finished is the laundry room and storage room. It has a huge backyard too which was something we both really wanted and it even has a basketball hoop for Kyler!
The closing date on it right now isn't set until August 17th, which means we will be "homeless" for a few weeks. We will most likely end up staying with our parents for those few weeks. There is a slight chance we could close on it sooner but we aren't counting on it with how slow the banks have been working on it so far. Here's to hoping the inspection goes well on Monday and that we will hear good news on the loan within a couple of weeks:)