Baby Update....again!

Today I am 37 weeks...meaning this little guy will be here in 2! I went to the doctor today and he is still doing great. When she measured my belly she said,"He's a big kid isn't he?" Which kinda took me by surprised since I've thought the baby would be smaller than Kyler, just since I haven't gained as much this time but I guess we will see. I was only dilated to a 1 and 30% thinned so I most likely won't be having him before the 17th unless my body decides to move faster than it did with Kyler. I had a dream last night he came on the 4th and it has freaked me out! It would be nice to have him here though.
I swear I am losing my mind! Today as I was sitting in the Doctor's office I realized I only have one more appointment and then I will be going in to have him, I started to cry thinking about it. I seriously can't believe how fast this pregnancy has gone. It has been a HARD pregnancy and I've tried really hard not to complain to much about it, but in all honesty there have been a number of times I have questioned if I would want to get pregnant again because its been so tough at times. Now that its about over I know I will miss it! Its so nice being able to protect them when they are inside and knowing they are okay and safe. I will love being able to have him here and being able to snuggle him and that it will make all the hard times well worth it. I just hope I can keep him safe, I still feel like a bad mom every time I find a new bruise on Kyler.
More on the subject of losing my mind though, the whole Nesting thing has been completely lost! Which isn't a good thing since we have alot of packing to do, and yet I can't seem to get my self to do anything. My house is a disaster and I can't stand looking and the piles of things we need to go through. Yet I find myself doing different things, like tonight I should have been doing laundry but instead I sat down with one of Kyler's coloring books and colored! I have no idea why!! I guess maybe some of it is I just need to relax a bit, but I really don't have the time to. I'm hoping after the 4th the Nesting will come back in full swing so I can get everything done I need to before Xander comes. I also have found myself worrying about the silliest things. Like what we are going to dress up for halloween even though its months away, getting Xander's newborn pictures done and how they will turn out, where we should go on vacation next year, and other random things. Don't ask me why I've been thinking about these thing already!
I guess thats it for now though! We are looking forward to the 4th, hopefully Xander will stay put so Kyler can celebrate one more hoilday on his own. I know he is looking forward to the parade!